 |
|||||||||||||
 |
|
 |
|||||||||||
 |
 |
||||||||||||
I finally saw my doctor yesterday, three months later than I was supposed to. Didn't matter. I explained that my pain sort of plateaued and has been increasing slightly over the past couple months. Exactly the same type of pain I had before the surgery, though it is not quite as intense as it used to be. He explained that there are "a number of unusual things" about me, and that correcting the dysplasia doesn't mean that everything about my hip is now normal. Part of the process of changing the joint meant tilting a piece of boen directly into the path of the main ligament that goes across my joint, causing it to slip out of its "groove" constantly. He did try to smooth down this bumpy bone that's causing all of the slipping and irritation of the ligament, but it's definitely still a huge knob of bone right in the path. He said that people like me might feel pain for years. My only hope is to strengthen the muscles to the point that the ligament is less stressed, and the muscles are taking on more of the work of holding the joint stable. So, this means fighting through the pain and getting stronger again. Much stronger. Stronger than I was before the surgery. Maybe stronger than I've been since I quit competitive figure skating in my early 20s. I'm excited about getting stronger. I've always considered myself an athlete, and I've hated being so inactive over the years because of the hip pain. I'm flip-flopping between feeling very optimistic and very pessimistic. I need to reserve judgement until I see the physical therapists and we work out a strengthening plan. Part of me wants to jump into training, totally ignore any pain that I feel, and just work my ass off to get strong again. I want to start skating and working out every day. But part of me is so tired of the pain that I just want to crawl into a hole and wait until it stops. I don't want to live with pain for the rest of my life. Or even for two more years, or for however long this is going to last. I'm devastated that there is bone in the way of a ligament - this isn't something that's going to go away with time or hard work. Ligaments don't stretch or contract, and neither does bone. But hopefully I can focus all of my attention on the muscles, and let them take over the work that the ligament is trying too hard to do. I don't know. It sounds fishy. It sounds like it's just going to hurt forever. And I don't know if I can deal with that. Post a comment in response: |
| © 2002-2008. Blurty Journal. All rights reserved. |