cornored. . .
. . . . I don't know what to do. . . I can't tell Watari what happened or . . . . 003 was worse yesterday. He took over Tsuzuki's desk and now Tsuzuki has a small desk in a cornor and 003 is right next to me. I tired to ignore him but he went over and stuck his nose into Tsuzuki's and Hisoka's business about their case. He thought that Muraki was beautiful and he was impressed by him. . . then when Tsuzuki left, he tried to hit on Hisoka. He told him to back off and he did but he came after me again. I just pushed him away but he said I better do as he said for Watari's sake. . . Hisoka got tired of him and challenged him basically saying he couldn't match both of us. 003 then backhanded Hisoka. that was it and I was ready to challenge him myself. . . . Apparently he has telepathic powers because the next thing I knew, both Hisoka and I were seeing horrible images and our heads felt like they were being torn apart. I guess that's how Hisoka was going through too cause he was in more pain then I was. I figured 003 would have targeted me more but he hit Hisoka harder. I passed out and then I was awaken by Tsuzuki and Tatsumi-san talking. My head was hurting almost as bad as before. and before I could say what happened 003 popped in saying that he was worried cause he found Hisoka and me at out desks passed out. Tatsumi-san wanted to hear my side but as his back was turned I saw 003 do the cutting of throat but mouthed Watari's name. . . . I told Tatsumi-san I didn't know what happened and that it was a blur as it was. I hoped he knew I was lying. He seems to know when I'm lying. Hisoka was in bad shape but Tatsumi-san told Tsuzuki to take him home and he told me I had the rest of the day off. I said I would be ok and just went to the bathroom to calm down. I started to calm when the nightmare returned. this time he was abusive to me. He hit me and the bruise on my cheek still hasn't healed completely, then he told me to leave Watari alone basically and that he was his. . . . I was scared. just pure and totally frightened and I'm still frightened and he knows it. . . . he told me to . . . and I had too . . . I didn't want to but he started to make me do it with his powers. I agreed begging for him to just leave me alone and I'll do as he says. . . I have to stay away from Watari. . . . I can't even look at him but. . . I love Watari. . . 003 wants me to go back to my room while he sleeps in Watari's bed and I'm suppose to make him hate me. . . I can't though. . . I can't just ignore what I fell inside. . . but I have to. . . I have to for Watari's sake. . . he's in danger and I can't even do anything about it. . . so many emotions are running through me right now. . . fear. . . anger. . . and shame. . . 003 raped me. . . harder then anything Muraki ever did to me. . . . he bit me on the shoulder and I still can't get it to heal up very well. I've put some antibotics on it but it still hurts . . . then when he was finished with me, he just left me to suffer there on the floor. . . I was praying no one would come in to find me like that till I could get up and clean up. . . . thankfully no one did. . . I want to tell someone so bad but I dont want Watari to be hurt. he's proably right. . . Watari wouldn't even believe me if I told him. . . but I need to tell someone. but I'm afraid that 003 will hurt them as well. . . maybe I can tell Tsuzuki. he stood up to 003 and he knows his ways. . . but. . . he might go after Hisoka. . . I'm so lost and lonely right now. . . I couldn't even sleep last night. I don't know if 003 was in Watari's bed but I hoped he wasn't. I went straight to my room last night and locked my door and when Watari asked to come in I told him I'm fine and I'm just trying to go to sleep. . . I didn't want to hurt him. . . I don't want to hurt him. . . I've got to do something but what. . . it'll take me forever to find the bird formula without Watari knowing and I can't fight him. . . I'm suppose to be good to him and he won't hurt Watari. . . I pray that he doesn't come after me again but. . . he's worse then Muraki so he'll most likely come after me again and. . . someone. . . please. . . hear my silent cries. . .
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