today big day oh god!!!!!
today we pick up our boy and go to moms company picnic errrrrr...... its 8:01 am and i am a nervous wreck!!!! but anyway, um we havent seen each other for two days its fine by me 'cept i do miss him. i need to get over my problem. i do not know what to think anymore.i'm all gah gah over him its sickening. we thanked our friend yesterday and she seemed pleased about the whole thing. now i cannot complain about not haveing a boyfriend, but he still needs to talk to the parents, loooooooong story, my own personal little test to see how much they want to date me. i'm so sad i know but it works wonders i've realized. today that will happen too..... um going to the movies with one of my other good friends, told him about it last night and he said that he wanted to go should have known better. but i felt i had to so he doesn't stop by and be like where is she? it would have been cruel, i miss the old me, the sad lost without my way cruel and unusual person that i once was but no i had to meet our boy and i am a sap. its fucking sad as hell!!!and at the same time, i dont miss it to much because i'm actualy happy the happy that i knew around alonzo. which worries me too....everyone knows that the past does repeat its self. please dont let it please dont let it.i want to stay sane for a little while longer. untill i hit thirty at least. then they can commit me to the hospital. but anyways i should write about how today went later if not today, tomorow wish me luck or jinx me i dont really care, if it can happen its bound to. buh-bye.
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