|Current mood:|| numb|
I Get It
First off, I'd just like to defend myself because I probably should be getting a lot of hate mail, comments, phone calls, etc. I know what I did was wrong because I ended up hurting someone and it was truly never my intention. I mean I'm not that kind of a person. I don't intentionally see someone and wonder how can I hurt so and so. I would NEVER think that. I know she wants to hate me right now and honestly if it makes her feel better to hate, throw darts at my picture, she can do it...I just want her to feel better, I want her to be with someone that should have treated her like I promised I would, someone that wont hurt her, and someone that she wont have to wonder where his heart lies. When I said I love you to Natalie, I truly meant it. I know that no one will believe me more than likely, but I did. I never say anything that I don't mean. I feel horrible, there are no words that can express what I went through yesterday as I watched her pack, walk down the stairs, and get into the cab her and Mia called.
I ended up calling Keri because I didn't want to turn to Ewan, I didn't want him to see how big of a mess I was, but more importantly I didn't want him to see my break down and bawl. Instead like I said I called Keri and I'm honestly surprised she could understand anything I was saying.
I've been told that everything will be okay. Even by my three year old daughter. I want you to be happy more than anything in the world Nat and I'm so sorry I wasn't the man that could provide that for you.
I know most of you are probably thinking this is just filler, a disguise, and well he's an actor so they're just empty words, but they're not and I know I'm going to be looked at as the bad guy and that's fine, I just want her to be happy again. I want her to not date someone that isn't scum, which I'm obviously going to be in so many others eyes.