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Heart For Rent (heartforrent) wrote,
@ 2004-03-13 16:37:00
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    Current mood: blank
    Current music:RENT

    "I've longed to discover something as true as this is..."
    So I've decided... I'm a very hard girl to keep. I'm not saying that I'm difficult, or high-maintenance, but the fact of the matter is... I'm hard to keep. I can't seem to grasp the concept of an attachment to myself, or anything that has to do with me. I don't think it's low self-esteem persay, though that may have something to do with it. I simply need a little more *emotionally* to make me feel cared about.

    I sort of had this thought in my mind for a while now (try like 4 years), but I can forget about it.. Until I'm reminded in some way how convinced I am that this same thought is why my past relationships haven't worked.
    And also why I haven't had more.

    ..........

    There is so much that I wish I could tell you
    Feelings that I've had buried inside my soul
    The same soul that I've tried to deny any presence of
    Since the day we've met
    But I am scared
    Scared of having too many feelings and too fast
    Scared of never having those feelings reciprocated
    Correction
    I am scared of never feeling like they have been reciprocated

    I am terrified that
    Some day
    You will care for me
    That you'll... Love me
    And I won't be able to understand
    To believe


    ..........

    Nevermind.



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