| Current mood: |  depressed |
| Current music: | Atreyu~ at least i know im a sinner |
meh
Im about to go to bed, but i had t get some things off my mind first, im gonna do that now. Dear everyone, i hate it when you smile at me for no reason, i hate it when you laugh at my jokes, i hate it when you enjoy spending time with me, i hate it when you try to get close to me, i hate it when i look at you and am reminded of how badly i fucked up, i hate it that your their for me, i hate it when you want me around, i hate it when you toy and flirt with me, i hate it when your asking me questions, i hate it when you sit next to me, i hate it when you confide things in me, i hate it when i have no idea why your around me, i hate it when you tell me how great i am, i hate it when your happy, i hate it when your content, i hate it when your complete, i hate it when you look at me, i hate it when you give me hugs, i hate it when when you say stupid fucking things, i hate it when you try to comfort me, i hate it when you need me, i hate it when you ask me to go for a ride with you, i hate it when you cough, i hate it when you sneeze, i hate it when you preech, i hate it when you judge me, i hate it when you give me ideas with what i should do with my time, i hate it when you lie, i hate it when you make fun of others, i hate it when you dont get the punishment you so badly deserve, i hate it when you dress up, i hate it when you have a good time, i hate it when you try to get me to have a good time, i love it when you get hurt... i love that most of all. There i feel now, ot better not worse, but at least i feel. My cousin is getting married tommorw, i guess i would be happy for him if i wasn't so miserable, so fuck him and his twat of a bride. Why am i so emotionaly fucked? Im still waiting for you sweet-heart, and i know feeling like i do now, you'll never get neer me, but you are the only person that will be able to take all this pain away. God i wish i knew where you were, or who you are for that matter, im not even sure that your their anymore, i know the sooner i find you or you find me, i'll be complete, then i wont hate anymore, the only thing ill hate is being away from you, but your not here, so i hate, and i hate and i hate... i dont wanna hate any more. Thats it.
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