| Current mood: |  weird |
| Current music: | Ra Ra Riot//Can You Tell |
I know where the important tracks lie on a mix tape. I've made my fair share.
I'm slightly alarmed.
Since when can I be that person to another?
It makes me feel slightly sick and guilty, because I don't deserve his affection and never knew.
I wouldn't ignore it, that's a terrible thing to put another through. To pull in one direction with little to no effort on the other side, is enough to drive one to desperate actions. I myself am drowning in the end of someone else's rope, its terrible.
At least he shows slightly more self-restraint than I have in my situation. I'm wondering if I'm less crazy because I've realized how insane I've been acting, or if I'm more insane than ever.
Perhaps in another time when I am slightly less terrified and more put together I will be able to stop long enough to catch my breath when his is around.
Now is not that time and I've got to get away from my one sided tug-o-war. Being around here without makes me nauseous.
Tuesday morning I will be leaving, thanks to pessimistic mechanics and a new radiator.
Now I'm running from more than all of my failures. I'm running from myself as someones failure at this moment, but I'm certain he doesn't see my face in everyone and hear my words in all this fucking silence like I do his.
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