|Current mood:|| pleased|
|Current music:||Lizze McGuire|
revelation ?.. pray!
So.. John was here and my mommy wasnt so we decided to go outside. We went to Danielle house and she was whispering things underneath of her breath like I couldnt here. So, I didnt want to start anything there so I came home and we got into it. EVERYTHING boiled over and escaped from us. I was crying SO fucking hard and then mummy came home so I rushed into my room and started writing everything in my fucking head. I write REALLY small and it was in a college ruled journal. I'm gonna type it all up in here.
Well, I was gnna type it up in here but curretnly i dont feel like it. I will sooner or later.. prolly. but basically I realized that these are the things I need to change:
-*- talking to people about things that bother me before they esalade into larger things that erupt horribly
-*- not letting people run ove rme so much
-*- dont talk about people
-*- give 100%
-*- TRY when i get to high school
-*- realize that death is not the answer for everything
-*- keeping a journal. so everything isnt jumbled crazily inside my head
I'm gonna try to change that this summer before HHS.
Anywhoo.. today at camp I was walking with this little girl (one of my campers) and she said "You know.. you really should have a boyfriend. You're so pretty!!!" and I just smiled and inside I was thinking.. she's right! I'm not gonna spend my time depressed and silly over Dre!!! What's finished is finished. I dont even miss him really.. I mean.. I'm gonna member out last kiss.. and first kiss and w/e.. stuff like that but it's all in the past now! I'm not calling him.. and if he calls me **which he WONT** and we start talking again. It's whatever. From this point on I feel like starting over and I dont give a fuck.
<12>I'm moving on!12> I am SO much better than what he deserves!