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the first song on your mix tape (gusterbabe88) wrote,
@ 2003-10-06 09:20:00
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    Current mood: aggravated
    Current music:AFI-Girls Not Grey

    ..no schooool... yay..
    well woke up early today to the sounds of guster on the TV. ::Amsterdamn:: video.. ahhh love it! i dont mind that guster is on tv n the radio w/ thier video n songs but i cant stand when people all of a sudden magiclly appear with guster songs in thier profile. mostly just "Amsterdamn" becuz thats the only song they no considering they probbaly never heard of them until they heard or show the video of song.. ahhh sorry im just annoyed cuz guster is my band. ive liked then since the old schoooool. sooo ya i have no schooool. and a house ot myself for the day. awesome. except im sick. i stilll cant hear in both ears and im a tissue maniack. ok... yesterday suzy called me a "poser" now im getting fired up with her shit. im sick of it. when last year.. all of a sudden she decidded to turn "punk" well.. ok i MIGHT NOT always dress punk. but i have a girly side who loves dance and getting dressed up to go places. but i also LOVE baggy pants and punk. rock. alternative music. noones said you EVER had to dress the way you do. by what kind of music you listen to. i mean.. soo what is she going to call a few leaders posers? i mean rachel n i had this convoersations.. now we love punk.rock.alternative. but you dont have to dress punk. and i mean you can still love the music. without dressing it. and you look at kristen whos just the same and me n rach and ashley to. im just fristrated with it when a few weeks ago i recall her tryingt o change me into somethign im not. im always gonan be the girlish. sorta girl. who loves boys. loves rock concerts. and baggy pants. and nones how to have fun with the people she lvoes. i mean... im 13.. ok.. and i cant even watch a linkin park video or any song without crying and how im loosing some close people and its killing me. and im sick of trying to act like im soo fricken happy. cuz in reatity im ficken dying inside. im not doign very good.. with my freshman at the high school n me at south... i miss them incredibly and things lately have been soo hard. i just want something to magicllly appear and make me happpy. wednesday when i finally talked to dan about eveyrthing it was great.. thats the best thing. i dunno its like its the one thing i have that noones tryingt o take it away from me. i love him to death. when we first went out wow. i liekd him alot but it seemed andy got in the way. this time no guy is getting in the way. i love him.. alirght there. i love him.. i wanna be able to not cry over being stressed out. be happy. go back to the old me..i dunno something.. i just wanna be soo fricken happy again... im not trying to sound like a syco. lol or anything but im sorry im soo sick of the labels and my schoool... i realy dont no anymore...

    I've become so numb I can't feel you there
    I've become so tired so much more aware
    I've becoming this all I want to do
    Is be more like me and be less like you

    Can't you see that you're smothering me
    Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
    Cause everything that you thought I would be
    Has fallen apart right in front of you
    (Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
    Every step that I take is another mistake to you
    (Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
    And every second I waste is more than I can take
    -Linkin Park- "Numb"


    I got a heart full of pain, head full of stress
    handfull of anger, held in my chest
    And everything left’s a waste of time
    I hate my rhymes, but hate everyone else’s more
    I’m riding on the back of this pressure
    Guessing that it’s better I can’t keep myself together
    Because all of this stress gave me something to write on
    The pain gave me something I could set my sights on
    Never forget the blood sweat and tears
    The uphill struggle over years the fear and
    Trash talking and the people it was to
    And the people that started it just like you

    (Tried to give you warning but everyone ignores me)
    Told you everything loud and clear
    (But nobody’s listening)
    (Called to you so clearly but you don’t want to hear me)
    Told you everything loud and clear
    (But nobody’s listening)
    -Linkin Park- "Nobody's Listening"


    ...sorry..just a few songs i love..

    im gonan go enjoy my day off. ha. ya right...

    : * : TaRa : * :



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