|Current mood:|| contemplative|
It's 12 a.m.,
My head is spinning.
I can't sleep
Because my mind keeps wandering.
As I say a prayer,
I ask myself why I bother.
No one hears me.
I can feel my empty words free fall through the dark oblivion,
A nd I'm just hoping that they'll make contact with some greater being along the way.
This life is too much to handle alone,
But who do I go to for help?
I try to believe that my prayers are being heard,
But there is no presence of anyone but me...
I feel like a character from one of Shakespeare's great tragedies.
I could follow the crowd and kill myself,
But how can I do that when I'm not sure of what comes after death.
It'd do me no good to wake up in hell,
And either way... that's where I'm going as of now.
That iss, if there is a hell.
I wish I had hope and meaning in life.
Right now, everything feals surreal,
Like a movie.
I can't even feel my own emotions.
I can't feel at all, everything's numb.
I'm just a walking confusion,
T rying to figure out where I walking to.
Maybe, if I keep walking,
I'll something somewhere down the road.
Until then, I'll just hope that my legs don't give out from under me,
and that the cars whatch where they're going.
- ? Katie Smith 2003