| Current mood: |  calm |
| Current music: | joss stone : for the love of you |
this is pretty stream-of-consciousness
It's funny how dire a thing can seem when you're floundering in your own thoughts at 4 am. Though there's a certain clarity that comes with the cleansing, rejuvenating wash of daylight; things seem less horrible under the sun. I can't bring myself to worry during the day, or face the inevitability of the future. I only hang out with my demons at night; though I think that's the case for a lot of people, if not most. But let's face it, what else is there to do?
Maybe that was my problem with therapy ... I should've gone to my sessions at night, perhaps the truth would have come out then. Probably not.
I waste so much of my life just sitting in thought, staring out the window or into the cold, midnight darkness of my room, lost in myself. I wish I could devote more of my thinking hours to sleep.
Life is strange; it never ceases to be interesting. Sometimes I feel like an onlooker, held like some sort of twisted captive audience, waiting with bated breath to see what will happen next ... Does The Father have cancer? Will he lose the lawsuits, plunging the family into bankruptcy? Will they all be able to keep it together!? Tune in next week for the next exciting chapter in this family's dramatic saga ...
Life is interesting and beautiful and amazing. I wish we could all just take time out and relish the moments we have, the small ones that so often slip us by but, if we stopped to savor them, would have the most profound effect of all. Life is so short and too often wasted trying to relive the past, buried in old hurt.
For 10 minutes go outside. Suck great, gasping breaths of air into your lungs and taste it. Stop thinking about work, school, kids, your boyfriend, whatever's stressing you out. Walk around the block, feel the way your muscles move and glory that they do. Listen to the wind, feel it on your face, soak up the sunshine. For 10 minutes just be, recognize the fact that you're alive and relish it. It will do you a world of good, I promise.
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