she who makes the stars fall (gracefulmistake) wrote, @ 2004-11-15 21:16:00

Thinking on it.
Last night Kev asked me to move in with him.

Well, not really. But kind of.

What happened was more of a "I just told my nonsmoking health conscious roommate I want to smoke cigarettes in my bedroom and what am I gonna do if she decides she doesn't want to live with me and wants me to move out of the apartment" kind of conversation than anything else. Or at least that's what it started as. He chimed in, "You can always move in here" all nonchalantly but secretly I think he would really like having me there with him all the time and honestly I think I would like it just as much.

And now I can't stop thinking about it.

What does it mean when your boyfriend of two months mentions moving in together and it doesn't scare you? You, the formerly hell-bent on being independent, habitual dating kind of girl. I guess it means he's the one. If I can go on and on about him to a former love of mine, it is real.

It is almost midnight and Lis still hasn't come home yet. I hope she's not mad at me. Hopefully if she is thinking something she will be able to talk to me about it. I also feel like I'm doing a nice thing to only smoke in my room, though, because I do pay half the rent and she knew I was an indoor smoker when we agreed to share an apartment. I don't want to come home everyday and wonder if she's going to be mad at me. It's kind of weird now that I have Kev because I still love Lis but I want to be with him all the time and I feel like we're not as close as we used to be. And that's expected, but I don't want us to become just roommates instead of friends.

On one hand, I would love to live with Kev. There is not one inch of hesitation in my mind, and that is because I already know it would work. We practically live together already. I don't know if I'm ready to give up my own space, though, and this lease isn't up until September. That's a lot to work out and I don't know if it's time to do it.

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