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Googly Bear (googlybear) wrote,
@ 2003-01-03 00:00:00
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    Pillow Talk
    So, last night, after the kids were finally in bed, Wife and I headed upstairs. As we waited for the kids to be asleep, for sure, we talked a bit. Little did we know, but Wife was about to ask a question that was going to ruin not only last night, but today, and potentially many days ahead.
    "Can you tell me one thing that would really make you happy?"

    My response: Working at a job that pays what I make now, that I actually enjoy.

    Background: We had a bunch of layoffs in our office in December. At the time of the layoffs, I was out of town for work (on a new project), and found out that my boss was one of the 40 or so people that were terminated in our office. Since that time, work has been really bad. Not only is everyone coping with the loss of a lot of good workers and good friends, those left behind have to pick up what was left by them. Our work unit is one of the few that has been pretty busy, yet we still had to lose people. (There are, of course, people that just sit around and surf all day, but that's probably never going to change) Then, right before Christmas, I got another new project, which the client immediately requested on-site meetings for. On-site in their office - 2000 miles away. Their first request was for a meeting on January 3rd - today. A vacation day for me. They settled for next week, though, which still means I have to travel again. Less than one month since my last trip. This may be normal for some people, but in my group, if you travel once a year, that is a lot. Anyway, I have had to work longer hours than anyone else on our team, dial-in to conference calls on my days off and vacation days, and throw my family into a tizzy with the traveling.

    Back in the bedroom - with my response hanging in the air, we got into a heated discussion about the way our work lives are these days, and how difficult it is for both if us to juggle work, the kids, our marriage, and all of the other minutia that fills each day. This heated discussion never turned into an argument. It was more a case of me venting a lot of the frustrations that I keep buried inside. Wife usually does the venting, and bottle mine, like a fine wine. Or a time-bomb.

    Wife got really upset during this chat, as we discussed our frustrations with Son's special needs for speech and socialization stuff in pre-school. On and on it went. Eventually, we called it a night for the discussion, as we both were talked out. Wife started to doze a bit, and I went down to watch TV and surf the net for a bit, as my mind was still racing.

    About 2am, I heard wife come down the stairs, and she had been crying. She said she could not sleep, and had been up worrying for the past 2 hours, about everything we talked about. By this time I had calmed down, and was about ready for bed. We talked a bit more, and I kind of got her to relax a bit, and we did go to sleep.

    This morning, Wife was still on the brink of tears at the drop of a hat. I was working on Son's bedroom a bit (preparing to paint), so Wife took the kids to her mom's house for a few hours. When wife got home, she seemed a bit better, yet still has a look of near-panic deep in her eyes. I've seen it before, so I know what it looks like.

    Anyway, that is the long version of the past 24 hours. Monday I'll go back to work and be up to my ass in alligators. Wednesday I'll be flying out of town again, only for 3 days this time, not 5, like last time.

    So, I update and watch the web for opportunities. They are few and far between these days, but you never know.

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