|Current mood:|| uncomfortable|
|Current music:||yellowcard - - - empty apartment|
THe NiGHT oF "THe iNciDeNT"..
it was perfect.. the whole night, was a miracle to me.. it all started with a project, one simple homework assignment which could all be completed in the mater of a couple hours.. and it was completed. it was me, elba, hazell and their 2 boyfriends: jonuel and yasmani.. we were all doin the project at elbas house and wen we were done.. we were bored. we thought the pool would keep us entertained and boy were we right.. i however was left alone.. but not for long. we went in the pool, everything was good.. but then it got cold.. so we went in the hot tub.. big mistake.. things got hot nd heavy with the couple of couples a lil after the sun had set so i decided to leave them alone.. i sat by myself in the dark while they were all doin theyree thing and i felt lonely.. they werent more than a few feet away, but for the first time in a long time.. i felt cold, and all alone in the world with no one to live my life with.. i hated the feeling.. so i did it. i made the call.. and he answered. he was watching a movie so he said he would call back.. and he did, 20 minutes later.. and wen he did he asked wat i was doin.. i told him i was at the pool in aspen by myself since everyone else seemed 2 b quite busy in the hot tub.. he said nothing.. i told him elba had told me to invite him but wen i called he had been watching a movie.. so he said he would call me back.. and again he did.. this time with good news!! his first words wen i answered the fone were: ill be there in 10 minutes.. that was enuff 2 make me happy for the nite.. but i didnt kno wat was yet 2 come.. he lied 2 me.. it was about 15 minutes before he had finall arrived, but it was ok.. i was just glad 2 see him. as soon as he got there he ove into the pool.. he wasnt supposed 2 dive.. it was after all against the "pool rules" but no one reads those anyway.. the other 4 love children were still doin their thing but i hadnt been watching them.. the whole tym, i sat.. dumfounded.. staring at the man that i loved. the man that brough out the best in me.. the same man that i gave MY ALL to.. the same man that took my virginity, and my heart.. the same man, that i lost. he was beautiful and it was in that moment that i regreted everything i had done to hurt hm the most.. but i didnt want t sho him my weakness so the one tear i cried was quikly wipped away and replaced with a smile.. it statred to rain so we all walked to elbas house, and wat had happend there, was yet another miracle. a movie was put on for us to watch, and watch we did.. at least thats wat we started to do.. as i sat next 2 him on that coch in the dark, i found it hard 2 consintrate on the movie.. so i focussed on him instead.. he would turn to look at me a few times and i turned away with each glance.. i asked him wat was wrong.. he said nthing.. i asked him for a favor.. he said anything.. i asked him to hold my hand, and that he did.. soon enuf i was crying in his arms and wen he asked me y.. i replied.. "because like this, i am happy".. he squeezed me tite, i squeezed him too.. as i layed across his chest, in his arms.. i did nothing but listen to the movie, but even that was hard for me cuz i was tryin my hardest 2 completely focus on him. that was easy for me to do, and i soon found myself breathing at the same time he did. i laffed.. and i was happy. i looked up at him, he looked down at me.. and we kissed. finally.. after almost 3 months of solitude, he gave into 1 kiss.. it was the best feeling i ever felt.. and that one kiss lead to i all.. we found it hard 2 focus on the movie and wat was soon to happen was wonderful.. jonuel had left, so elba was alone until we all went to her room.. thats wen she, hazell and yasmani crawled up to the top bunk, leaving me and gabriel to the bottom.. i was scared.. i had done this so many times with him, but this time was different.. this time we werent.. together in a certain way that i wanted us 2 b.. i was scard this was the last time i would ever hav a chance to be this.. intimate and close with him.. but i let it go and loved him the best i could.. i didnt have sex with him.. we both wanted it tho, we both said it to each other.. but i couldnt giv into myself.. and i didnt.. i wont give details about all that happened.. i would like to keep that last special moment with him 2 myself.. its more special that way.. but then we layed.. and i cried, he knew i missed him adn he told me he missed me 2.. i wished countless tyms for that nite to last forever but i knew it was a dream that would never come tru.. and then he had 2 go, after a couple f fone calls he walked out.. i stopped him for one more hug, and one more kiss.. thank god i did this because who wouldve known that i mite nt b able to do that again for days.. weeks maybe even. wat was soon to come was unexpected.. but b4 he had gonei asked if wat had happend that nite changed anythin between us.. if it brought us closer.. and he said it did, so i smiled.. and then he was gone.. i stood in the street for a good 4 minutes before i stoped smiling and entered bacl into the house.. after a wile, while still thinking of gabriel, i went home and called him.. i called twice and no answer, so i left a message but he called me on the other line.. "dont call my house or my mom will get mad.. ill call u rite bak" i said ok, i love u and bye. i layed in bed waiting for half an hour before i ecided to call him back and this time there was no answer. i was guessin he had already fallen alseep so i did the same. that nite i had slept better than i had ever.. gabriel had slept worse than ever tho.. but i wouldnt know this till almost midnite the next day.. i was awoken by a phone call.. it was his mom, she was crying, i got scared.. was he ok? was he alive? did he run away? did something happen n the way home? where is he? is he safe? is he the reason shes crying?? ..he had to be cuz i was the only person she called.. she asked if gabriel was alone last nite.. he was.. had he called anyone? yes.. geo i think.. she cried more.. wat she told me next, stopped my heart. y?? thats wat i asked myself.. i couldnt answer tho cuz i didnt kno it all.. only gabriel knew it all but i couldnt talk to him. for hours i went crazy to know if he was ok.. and wen i heard from his mom the last time she told me that wen she was again with him.. he ran away.. so now hes gone.. was it forever?? no. because i went lookng for him.. i went everywhere i could think of.. and thank god i found him.. he was ok.. from wat he said.. it was around 7 wen we piked him up and brought him to his old second house.. my home.. and almost midnite wen we called his mom to let her kno he was ok and that we were bronging him home.. my mom and her boyfriend drilled him for hours.. ppor kid.. and wen i got to him, he was worn out. i didnt get a chance 2 ask if he was ok before he had fallen alseep.. so we took him home after my mom talked to his.. my mom worked her magik and convinced his for a not so bad punishment.. and he was off.. i cried evry step of the way.. i was terrified for him bcuz i knu wat he would face.. but it was out of my hands.. gabriels safe at home and ok.. but i still havent had the chance to speak to him.. i dont know how long it would b.. but ill keep u posted..
GISEY LOVES GABRIEL!!