|Current mood:|| distressed|
|Current music:||a little enya for the soul|
return to innocence...
I am so bored. Another weekend has passed. I didn't do anything cool or fun. Friday night I just stayed in bed. I don't do anything fun anymore. I used to. I don't know what's up with me. I just stayed in my room all weekend like usual. But wait...I stay in my room all the time! I have nothing in common with anybody. I just want to smOke. It sux cuz I don't have any stoner buddies. I always smoke by myself. It's not too bad but its always better with some friends. I didn't go to the movies, hang out or anything this weekend. Ooohh...I did read a chapter for school. Whoopee! (sarcasm goes here) Now I have to work on this take home final for school. It looks cryptic. My teacher is weird that way. I just feel like exploding right now. I don't want to go to sleep yet. Hell no. So here I am writing on this damn thing. I just can't seem to relax at all. My nerves are shot, and I feel physically and emotionally wrecked. Crap. I'm running out of cigarettes again. They're the only thing that keeps me sane really. And I'm thinking of giving them up???! Oh...this hole I have dug for myself. I still haven't found a job in the computer field. I am so brOke. It sux ass. To be honest I have no idea what to do. My life is no fun right now. It's very boring and predictable. I want to have some fun and feel alive again like I used to before. That feeling of elation rushing through my very essence. I wish I knew where I belong. I feel like I'm missing out. I'm 24 now and I should be dating, have my own place and making good money. I'm not doing any of that. I just sit in my room all day playing with my computer. I don't mind so much but a little fun wouldn't hurt. A few laughs or something. A few tokes from the bong. Something...someone to understand me.