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fierynymph (geminigem) wrote,
@ 2004-04-15 09:47:00
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    Current mood: melancholy
    Current music:breathe your name~sixpence none the richer

    hrm... where to begin.......
    well, let's just say that things aren't getting any easier... but they're not getting any harder either (thank the gods).
    i just... i just can't help but feel that i've screwed up majorly this time. and i'm taking it hard, even though i know i shouldn't... mainly because that's the feedback i'm getting from my closest friends (you know, the ones that i hold closest to my heart and that i treat like brothers/sisters) and coworkers, yet my parents are backing me all the way with things. go figure. it used to be the opposite. *shrug* and on top of all of everything else... i'm feeling that things might be better if i did something drastic. and that's depressing me more and more...
    chris keeps reassuring me that things will be okay, and i know in the long run he's right... but i just can't get over the feeling that i'm having. it scares me. and i don't generally get so freaked out that i sob until i fall asleep... that scares me too.

    *sigh*

    i can't wait for classes to be over with for this semester. it's been a hard semester both academically and personally for me. then i will be getting more hours at work, so that means more money. which is good.
    i'm going to be moving back into chris' apartment soon, although probably not this weekend. i have two 5-page research papers to write (good news is they're only drafts that're due monday), but i still have about 75% of my research left to do. which is my fault for not feeling good enough to do anything, much less homework. although, that's getting better. (me being sick, that is).
    gah... today is a long day. i had a class at 8, now i have a conference at 1030 *twirls finger* with my english teacher, a class at noon, lunch with a friend, then a lab at 2. then i work at 630... so my day won't be done till about 830 tonight. then it's dinner time and back home for me (home being chris' apartment until i get my stuff moved back).

    on other news... we went to dairy queen last night (after i had gotten home and cried for about 30 minutes till i fell asleep, slept for 2 hours, woke up to chris coming in the door, eating pizza, and watching in living color) and i got a chocolate cone. i was excited to get actual chocolate ice cream... and it tasted so good... sooo much better than the mcdonald's crap. although i do miss going late at night with my mom through the drive thru and getting a cone with twice the normal amount of ice cream piled on in their efforts to empty the machines for the night and finishing them before we got home... yea, that's good stuff.......

    oh. and by the way... kara... i'm sorry i got upset with you the other day. i know you were only trying to help, and it shouldn't have pissed me off the way it did. thanks for all you've done. i love you!



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