Still bored
I'm in the Winburn computer lab now. Still feeling bored after being dropped off by Cecelia and Jacob (fuck not mentioning names). I feel awful and depressed....
On the drive back here I was thinking about my feelings and came upon the conclusion that this is not the first time this has happened. I then realized that it all spun around an issue I can bring to my women's group I'm hopefully starting this week at the counseling center. I realized that I frequently get upset/jealous/frustrated that other women have boyfriends or what not and I don't...But maybe that's a normal thing. I can't help but feel depressed and lonely. I mean-How am I supposed to feel when I'm in the company of a friend and her boyfriend. I feel left out. And I know that at first I said it was okay to hook me up with someone, but NOT on the spurr of the moment. Uh uh, that's just wrong to me. Plus, I'm not sure if I want my friends hooking me up with someone. I can't seem to get anything right and as depressed and fucked up in the head as I am, I don't think that would be good....If I still had Colin I'm sure things would be different. But he doesn't even care about me. No one does....
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