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Fumimaro Kakinomoto (fumimaro) wrote,
@ 2003-10-23 22:35:00
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    Current mood: indescribable
    Current music:Out My Mind...t.A.t.U.

    The Crossroad of Life...the New Beginning...
    Yeah, for my first entry, I shall randomly speak things and find an outlet to make sense. Tonight I was reminded of how far love can test you and the breaks it can give you. Chelsea and I spoke tonight, and she told me of another in her life and in her heart. Though her heart lies with me, the other has a closer tie to her than I do. The other doesn't have the distance between her, no the age difference, no the lack of parental approval. I don't know the whole story, just those bits and pieces that hit me so hard I couldn't see at one point. My computer kept shutting down which got to me even more, and all the while I'm catching my breath holding back every tear and urge to scream in rage. Good thing I have you.

    It's not right for me to be upset about this, after all, there is no title between Chelsea and myself. There is only a love that's holding strong after two week and counting, as well as 115 miles of travel. It's just, I found someone who is every part of my dreams and desires, someone who fits me better than anyone else. I'm a complexity in the first place, but to find another complexity in the same format is beyond odds. It's impossible, but it's been done. She's beautiful, she's fun to play with, she's great to hold, she has these locking eyes that make you feel so comfortable and alright. Her intelligence is a new to me, especially meeting people who dare not venture into the scientific field. I mean, there is nothing about her that I don't love. I think that's why when she told me everything my heart started racing, just to know that it's possible to lose her drove me insane.

    I called this entry the Crossroad of Life because this is where the cards are on the table, this is where the game gets interesting and where the climax to this entire story unfolds. This is the point where everything is on the line. The odds of her choosing me are not that good anyway it's sliced, the chances of me being the one to spend great amounts of time with her don't look that good. Something inside of me is keeping me from being afraid though, which is strange, I mean the possibility of losing someone this close looms throughout my head, but I'm not scared of the results. I'm not afraid of anything for some reason, I don't know why.

    December 4th is the target date for the Next Episode between Chelsea and myself. December 4th will decide where my future heads, and the New Beginning shall start then and there. God I sound like a cartoon announcer, very sweet. But seriously, I love Chelsea, and I can only hope good things come from her and I. As I say elsewhere, until next time...



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