|Current mood:|| disappointed|
|Current music:||Taking Back Sunday - Cute Without the E|
Hey Dude. I feel so sick right now. I feel like throwing up. It's so icky. I hate this feeling. I also feel kinda like shit right now too. Because David was going to come over right...yea well he decided to go to Lexi's for like an hour first then only was here for like 20 minutes? Ok seriously what the fuck is that about? I hate this so much. I hate being jealous, but I am. I hate it. It's horrible. It really sucks. I just want to fuck myself up now again. I want to do everything possible to get fucked up. Yet I don't know what to do. I had to go to the doctor and get MORE medicine which sucks and I hate it. I got blood drawn and it hurt so bad. It's not like cutting, it felt so weird. I like couldn't walk after and got so dizzy I almost fainted. Which I must admit would have been good to do. I hate this. I am pissed now. I wish I could go to your cabin. It'd be so awesome. It'd be so much better than being here right now. I hate this, I always run away when I get in a problem. I like go sit in my room and think about all the shit that pisses me off, then I get fucked up from that and fuze. It's so stupid!! I hate how my dad is trying to fix me. He's like making lists of things to do when I get angry. How pathetic is that? I hate it so much. He is like making me sit and have "talks" with him. I can't wait to leave here. It's gonna suck though there too I bet. I mean I know I'll be away from my parents but it's gonna suck not hanging out with as much. I'm gonna have to see a weekly person which sucks. Damnit...I'll I do it complain. It's seriously ALL I fucking do. I should try keeping it in more. Or taking out on myself I guess...I mean it just wouldn't be that bad. Then people wouldn't have to hear about me fucking hating everything. I dunno whatever. I'm gonna go. I'll talk to you tomorrow or something.