| Current mood: |  contemplative |
| Current music: | The Swan on TV... |
just my 2 pennies...
So I'm sitting here watching The Swan (on FOX of course) and wondering if I would get plastic surgery. I doubt I ever would, but if I did, I wouldn't use these doctors. One of the chicks they worked on last week ended up (in my opinion) looking like a drag queen. They put these awful hair exstensions in and they look so incredibly fake. I think without the extensions they'd probably look a lot less like transvestites.
On a more serious level, I can somewhat relate to these women. I know what it's like to feel... I'll just say less than beautiful and undesirable. Even though Tony tells me all these wonderful things I still feel like I'm not good enough and he could do so much better. I'm not pretty and I'm not sexy. I know nobody's perfect and I don't try to be, I just want to be good enough for me and it seems like I can never seem to get there.
It's so hard to not be hung up on looks. The need to be beautiful according to what the rest of the country thinks is so damn hard. There's all these people getting plastic surgery and all these rating communities. Those communities always say "It's just a community, don't take it personal." They're rating your looks. How are you not supposed to take that personally? So those who get rejected have to go and make a community of their own. Seems silly to me. As if I really need more people telling me I'm not pretty enough. All people really want is to belong. It's too bad we have to be judged on something so incredibly subjective. It's all so relative yet it matters so much.
I don't even try. I hate shopping, so I'm not trendy. I don't look good in dresses. I hate those damn mini skirts all the girls are wearing. I would never wear one of those. Ugh, that just reminded me of those irritating sorority chicks in biology. Why do they always have to sit in my area? Anyway, why can't I be me and be okay with it?
Alrighty, the show is just about over and the doctors have redeemed themselves. This woman looks amazing.
How funny, as I was writing this a commercial about self-esteem came on. They make it seem like it's so easy to just suddenly start feeling better about yourself. It was narrated by Jennifer Lopez... and that's sposda make me feel better...? Hmph.
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