Chris (fromgreentored) wrote, @ 2012-07-25 16:45:00

Left but never gone.
The air is broken. Sitting nervously in his room, the fan on the floor blowing a surprisingly nice breeze across him, he waits for something to happen. Anything. He lights up a cigarette.

"You smoke too much, you know that?"
"Go to hell."

It doesn't matter to him. He's too worried about the now rather than the later. The now is hopeless. The now is faithless. There's nothing right now. That's why there's only waiting.

But why? If there's no hope, then why bother waiting? There's no hope for change. The hope comes after change. You should change rather than wait.

"No."
"Why not?"
"I don't want to change. I'm tired of changing."
"Well, you need to do something. This isn't working, obviously."
"Neither is changing. I've tried."
"Try harder."
"Get the fuck away from me. What do you know? You're a fucking nobody."
"Fine."

A little peace and quiet. That's all it'll take. Just a small break from the lead. Let them take it from you.

"I'll try. I'm sorry."
"You'll try what? Changing?"
"Yeah."
"What made you change you're mind?"
"I'm tired of changing. But I'm more tired of waiting."
"You've taken the first step already then. I'll help you."
"How?"
"Just keep looking forward. I'll be there."

But can you go forward when everything just brings you down? I've seen you at your worst. I know you can keep going.

"And put that fucking cigarette out."

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