|Current mood:|| exhausted|
|Current music:||"numb"~ linkin park|
Just call me BooBooKittyFuck
Well, today was wonderful! NOT!! It was full of nothing.. than an anxiety attack, wooohooo!
Anyways, the past couple days have been meh. I withdrawaled from english on friday, sat. me and my sis moved a lot of shit from her bfs house back to this house(shes moving back here), then sun me n my daddy went to home depot to pick out the fan for my room. I get to paint part of it blue, to match the rest of my BLUE room, yay! and as i said b4 today no fun!
I'm so stressed out these days, im sorta numb on the inside! I'm afraid to let anyone get close to me, cuz i dont want them to know anything about me, considering i dont think im in the right frame of mind to be dating anyone. I'm so stressed about my image.. my parents are pressuring me to go all the way thru college, the whole freakin world of anorexic chicks are forcing me to be thin. Its kinda sad, all this pain on the inside has completely taken away from other feelings i should have. For example, im never hungry anymore i barely even think of food, but people make me eat so i dont become another one of them. Altho im not complaining about the rapid weight loss, i honestly feel like need to shed quite a few pounds. I dont think it matters how many times my friends tell me im perfect the way i am, im always gonna want to be better, its a neverending cycle of not feeling good enough. And i really dont know how i got to this point, i was fine for a while. But lately, depression has gotten the best of me. I'm not telling y'all this so u can pity me or anything. I just want you all to know why i may seem withdrawn.. or ive been told ive acted "pissy" .. well either one, if u notice them.. just know that im in a deep state of depression. Well, my sis is nagging at me to go to bed, n well, since the basement is her bedroom now, i have to leave it!! ill update soon..mucho love, shell