Every once in a while
Everything is perfect. My perfect life my perfect self. just fucking perfect. okay im lieing but hey who gives a shit? i came to the conclusion that i am not wiccin but i do practice magic. I thought for a while and i lost all thought of the god, goddess, and the spirit. I do however beleive in magical forces, which is why i practice magic. Fun i know. but i dont want to think right now. Well i dont but i do.... sometimes i like being depressed and like pain. but the rest of the time i cant really think about much. probably because i know inside that i wont like the anwsers i find. So i dont. i love being oblivious to the world around me. i love just being in my room with the candles lit and falling asleep on my couch... i want to live simply. i want a nice routine everyday and just going home to a peaceful place. No, i like coming home and being with the ones i love. But that dosent happen often. i come home to john and kate making fun of eachother. i come home to dad and kathy mad at me. i want to fast forward a few years and coming home to a loving boyfriend and a perfect home. errr.... thinking isnt one of my strong points. i want to go hide under my blanket until its all over. i want to cry everynight like i have been doing lately and wake up happy. But i dont. these thoughts are confusing. i dont want to think anymore i want to go call my boyfriend.i want out. i want out now. i hate some people. they just wont leave me alone. Die russell. die nate. die all you assholes. or fuck off at least. so now whoevers been reading this is full of messed up thoughts and stupid shit. yay! I HATE. I HATE YOU PEOPLE THAT MAKE JOKES ABOUT BATTERING WOMEN I HATE PEOPLE WHO SIT ON THE BUS AND MAKE STUPID COMMENTS I HATE ALL OF YOU WHO SAY I DO WHAT I DO TO BE DIFFERENT IF YU TOOK THE TIME TO NOTICE YOU'D SEE THIS IS ME I HATE YOU ALL THAT MAKE FUN OF ME BECAUSE I SPEND MY TIME LISTENING TO THE MUSIC I LIKE DOING THE THINGS I DO AND THE MAKEUP I WEAR I HATE YOU ALL PLEASE FUCK OFF FUCK YOURSELF AND FUCK YOUR STUPID JOKES AND COMMENTS!!! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE PLEASE. and to those of you that this dosent apply to.. love ya.