| Current mood: |  grumpy |
| Current music: | Panic! At the Disco |
My last birthday was spent in the ER and at dinner with people who don't give a shit about me.
My 21st birthday will be here in less than 3 weeks, and I'm not looking forward to it. My grandparents ask what gifts I want, friends ask how I want to celebrate; I have no answer.
I can't help it, I get sad on my birthday, its always been this way since my childhood ended. My birthday celebrations, or the day in general, never go right and always leave me feeling like I ruined it all, somehow. My last WONDERFUL birthday was my 17th birthday. Me and my three closest friends spent the day at the beach, surf shops, outlet malls, and then that night we went out for Karaoke and Mexican food. It was 100% perfect.
You know how they say the day you were born will be your "Golden" birthday? I never thought it was so until my 17th birthday on the 17th of April. Because since then, my birthdays just aren't that hot. On my 18th, I sat in my mom's lap and cried. I felt so unloved, for some reason. I knew I was loved, but somehow, feelings of despair overruled. 19, I was too depressed and hostile to enjoy it. My 20th was just an insane adventure that is filled with location jokes.
I'm just not looking forward to this one. The big 21 is supposed to be grand and unforgettable. Lets hope I don't cry the whole time this year.
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