|Current mood:|| sore|
|Current music:||the sound of me peeing in the toilet|
lets see i can explain my weekend and week! wowwwwwwwwww
well i had been having such a hard time breathing lataley, on friday nighht i rented movies w/ my dad adn i couldnt breathe and i was panicking all night and my chest hurt and stuff too, then on saturday i tried to go to tthe mall w/ my dad but i got there and i felt really sick and i codultn breathe and i was dizzy (mostly b/c i didnt eat that whole day or the day before, but that was b/c i was all scared about my breathing).. then i came home and layed down w/ him. then on monday i went to the doctors adn they said everything seemed fine but they took my blood anyway. i hate that so much, i had 3 women around me and my dad. haha. im such a baby i was so scared, and now the crease in my arm oppsoite my elbow (thats where they take the blood from) is all bruised and kinda gross. bleh. but anyway these past few days havent been that great. i got about 2 hours of sleep on sunday ngiht, about 4 or 5 hours of sleep on monday night and about 6 hours of sleep last night ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh im so tired!! i need to go to sleep early tonight. oliver beene comes back on tv tongiht tho! but anyway lets see hmmmmmmmm well umm english class is alrgiht, w'ere watchign a mvoie in class. yesetrday we took a test. bleh. it wasnt too bad tho. dance is okay, we're working in partners/groups to choreograph a dance, im w/ this girl nicki and crystal. crystal wasnt here today adn me and nicki were having a hard time making up dance moves to the song bleh. hopefully we'll figure some stuff out. hmmm u.s. history is gay as awlays :( lunch is alright, i sit w/ erika and heather like usual. i might go off campus w/ crystal sometimes now that i've got my car back. but i hate drivign so i dont wnat to too much. anyway i see cj everyday before 4th period now. so thats good. anyway tammy told me that 2 guys were saying i was gay today during her math class. what i find mind boggling is that peopel make fun of me for beign obsessed w/ harry potter (or daniel radcliffe or rupert grint)... then say that i am gay.. yes i'm in love w/ guys but i am gay.. i mean tha tmakes no sense. peopel are so dumb. they just like to make fun of me even if their reasons are totally ridiculous. JSUT b/c my sister is gay i get this sudden assumtpion that i might be gay or bi. EVEN THO people know how obsessed i am w/ ACTORS (not actresses).. if i was gay or bi i would be in love w/ GIRL actresses, or even normal girls. people make no sense to me. im not gay and im not bisexual. i like guys, i have nothing against gay peopel or bisexual peopel b/c i have a sister who is gay and ferinds that are gay and bisexual. i hate peopel who are homophobic. and by the way people who talk about my sister being gay need to FIND A NEW TOPIC TO TALK ABOUT! its really sad, talking about an almost 20 year old adult who is gay. and half the peopel who talk about it dont even know her. its not even that interesting of a thing to talk about it. oh well, people need to find better things to talk about. bleh. well on firday i might be sleeping over at my freind ashleys house. i met her at php. shes really cool, i hope she still wnats me to go! she lives in holly springs so dad will have to drive me or else i'd get terribly lost! well anyway i started talkign to my mom again, that was b/c ic alled her whenever i was having panic attacks lats weekend. then i tried calling her last night and ti said her phoen was out of service. and i just atlekd to my sister and she said that my mom lost her phone and her aol. so i have no way of getting in contact w/ her and im worried about her b/c she has no way of gettign in cnotact w/ anyone either. i dunno how i'll ever see her again unless i drive ove there.. i hate knownig that shes so poor. she doesnt have cable anymore either or a job. i mean jesus christ HOW does she live? :( it makes me upset..... oh well i'll figure out a way to talk to her. but i have no way of callign her or IMing her so i'll see what happenes. im going to go out w/ dad now adios.
p.s. i knwo so many people that have lied to me in the past few weeks and so many people that are more two-faced than i thought in the past few weeks. no names or anythign tho. but its really hard to trust many people nowadays isnt it?