well this feels oddly familiar.. sitting and typing in a blurty thing.. i kind of did miss it, i guess, not a lot, but i did.. it'll be easy to remember it this time.. its been a horrible couple of months.. horrible 23 years, really, but i'll get over it... eventually i guess anyway. it's nights like these that i miss nicky the most. i made the horrible mistake of looking at my old blurty to see what i'd last written.. it's pathetic.. i stopped before he died.
look at some of the stuff i wrote 'bout him:
Today Nicky was playing with a kick ball here on the bus, and he kicked it, and it hit me in the head. When it did, I told him to go outside with A.J. and Brian, so he did. A few minutes later, the kickball flew by my head again, as a window smashed!
Question of the day: Are Baby Banana's the same as Regular Banana's just little? Yes, they're still gross, still all phlemmy and Banana-ish. Can I convince Nicky of this? No. Will he eat them? No. Is Banana his favorite fruit? Yes. Why won't he eat them? Because they're "not the same". They're the same damn thing, they just don't take up as much room packing (or in your stomach) as regular ones. They're like the perfect banana for a kid his size...
We're in Vegas now - whoopie! - I was on the bus this morning as we rode into town and I was like pointing the lights out to Nicky, I'm like "look, see the lights on that big casino?" and Nicky goes "what's a casino?" I'm like "it's a place where people go to play games" and he goes, "Like an Arcade?" I told him, "Kind of, it's like an arcade that you make money for playing". He goes "NEAT! Let's go there!" lol I had to explain to him why Casinos can be BAD as well as "fun and good".
Nicky feels insecure because he had a nightmare. It was a LONG night, all bumpy and stuff, and I busted my butt last night at the show. Nicky wasn't tired, either, he was all chatty the whole ride. By the time we got to the hotel here, I felt like a walking zombie or something.
Well, Nicky needed new sneakers today, so we went to the mall here in Denver. We got in there and it was really incredibly crowded. Nicky has a one-track-mind when it comes to sneakers, he has to have whatever's "the coolest", so it takes him awhile to pick out shoes when he needs them. Then he wears them to the ground. He's incredibly thankful, too. He gave me a big hug and thanked me about twenty times for the new sneakers.
nicky was really a good kid, wasn't he? :( i miss him like crazy..i want him back so bad, it's incredible. he was a good lil boy, he never hurt a flea, and i never really appreciated him until it was too late. does that make me a bad father? sometimes i think it does.
i miss my lil buddy :(
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