Heart of Flame (fires_dreams) wrote, @ 2009-04-05 23:57:00

I've also being driving myself crazy.
I've bee teasing my boyfriend about getting married.
But it's making me paraoid... I don't want to be one of those girls who drops hints.... ad then make the guy all poanicky and pressured....
But... I can't seem to keep my mouth shut.
I don't even want to get married right now.
Plus I really son't want a wedding....
So why do I kep making pointed jokes?
I'm an idiot?? Maybe.....
What it really is, is my Tim wanted to get married, way back in the early days of our relationship.
I didn't ( I hate being tied down...)
Then we went though lots of mess, and ended up here, steady, happy, together.
But all teh mess made me realize that regardless whether or not marriage is stupid, I love Tim,
so someday..... when we are older and in a more settled (ie decent jobs, not living with our parents, etc.) place in our lives, I would like to one day....
But Tim, for a while had flipped on his perspective on marriage.
Cinsudering all the mess our relationship went through, I understand.
I think the jokes are my way (not so subtly damnit) of checking to see if someday, maybe he would possibly want the same thing.

It's stupid... and oh so girly.
I just don't want my heart to be all broken again....

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