Heart of Flame (fires_dreams) wrote, @ 2009-03-07 00:44:00

There are things I can't forget.

It's true as we get older, things change. Life gets harder. We grow, we change. But I think more than anything, we learn to deal with shit.
We suck it up and get a job.
We deal with more complicated and fucked up shit, and take on more responsibility.

But I think, really it's the opposite.
We figure out how to make the outside better.
We learn how to look like.... what we're supposed to be, who we are supposed to be.
But inside, we just get more fucked up.


....
It's never going to stop bugging me.
I can't get past it.
I decided to try.
I decided it was worth it.
Maybe it is.
But I can't forget. I try, when i find my train of thoughts heading in that direction, I do everything I can not to think....
Even thinking I will not think about it.
is enough, enough to not be thinking.
It's at the edge of my thoughts. always
There are worse things. I am sure I will see them as i get older.
But nothing has ever bothered me, broken me, this way.
So is it worth it...

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