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I've been home for over two months. My thoughts though keep flicking back to japan. It's never far from my thoughts. Maybe I wouldn't miss it so much if I wasn't here in sydney. The place I want to be least of all the world. Maybe if I had a job that gave me purpose, that I was good at, that enjoyed, rather than one which is only tolerable when its not busy, and essentially I don't have to do my job. It's not that I was happy. Maybe I am never happy. But I was doing something. I could go out and do something exciting, have once in a life time experiences, whenever. I had oppertunities, adventures, I had fun. Here..... the days blurr, there is but one thing I look forwards to. For that one reason, I don't regret coming back. It was time. I just can't stay. Even for him. I want to do something. I want to go out and have fun. I missing going drinking after work. I miss spending my weekends shopping in Osaka, and having the money to do so. I long for the solitude of my perfect apartment. There is a saying that of three things, job, home and relationship. It is possible to only ever have two of the three. I traded a job and apartment that I were really growing to fit me. That were really starting to create a life I was fitting into and enjoying, for the third. I have no regrets. I just miss the rest. Post a comment in response: |
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