sigh, loneliness blows asscheeks
hello again. its been a few days and yet nothing special has happened. i am still a single lonely girl that wants something that is just outta her reach. Sean. he is there but yet he isnt. i am respecting him and giving him his space yes, but i deep down inside, i want to reach out and hold him, kiss him, everything. it is taking a lot of control out of me. the other night, i dyed his hair for him, and it turned out really good. he liked it a lot. well, later that night, i stood in front of him, and i slid my fingers though his hair, moving it out of his eyes so i could look into them, and when he looked at me w/those big bright eyes, i just stared for like 5 seconds and walked away. i know that wouldve been the right time to kiss him and everything, but im gonna let him come to me when he is ready. b/c if he wants me, he'll come to me, i know he will. if not, then i guess i'll hafta find someone else. when i walked away, my eyes filled up w/tears and i had to fight them back really bad b/c i dont want him to see me cry like that. yes i'll let him see me cry, just not over him. i wont cry over him when he is there w/me. but i swear its ok, i'll be fine. its just hard b/c i care about him so much and i want to show him that, but i cant. hopefully one day i will be able to.
anyways, i went to my friends house and hung out w/her, her bf, my ex, his mom and sister and brother, his gf, my friends lil bro, and her other guy friend. they're names are angie, ben, brian, michelle, dont know my ex's mom name, stevie, salina, marcus, and ryan. and we are baby sitting for our friend chris. yes, chris is a girl. her lil boy is so cute. we hafta take him home today. i dont want to drive that far, but its ok. i'll manage i guess. well, i'm gonna go. i need to get ready, but im gonna talk to sean for a lil while yet. chao.