|Current mood:|| accomplished|
|Current music:||Steel Magnolias|
Steel Magnolias is on. I think I'm in love with this movie. I've seen it a dozen times. You wouldn't believe it. This movie always makes me emotional though. I know I shouldn't even watch it. Because I always get all weepy and emotional over it, and then for some damn reason I still watch it. If I had the money, I would probably buy it, just so I can torture myself over it. It's the same reason I watch A Walk To Remember.
Summary: She's his ultimate addiction.
He couldn't help himself.
He was addicted to her. She was like a drug to him, he needed her. He needed to taste her, devour her, claim her as his. Her name was always on the tip of his tongue, his thoughts were consumed by her, and she was always in his eye sight. When he should be researching, he was thinking of her, thinking of how it could only take one swift movement and he would be right in front of her. It would only take a second to wrap his arms around her and draw her close. Crush his lips against hers, taking in her taste, and mixing it with his own. He wanted to taste her. He wanted to touch her in ways, no one else had. Touch every single part of her. Brush his fingertips down her skin, feeling the smooth surface of her skin underneath his fingertips.
It was an obsession.
Something that replayed in his mind. He held a torch for her, one that wouldn't blow out. And the thoughts that consumed his mind were wrong. What he felt, what he was constantly thinking about was wrong in so many ways. It would scare her off, or it should, at least. If given the oppurtinity he would lose himself in her. Keep her to all himself. Listen to her. Run his fingers through her hair as she slept. Kissed her in places that sent shivers throughout her whole body. He'd possess her. Intertwine himself inside of her, losing track of where he ended and she began.
She taunted him without even knowing it. Just watching her lean over while reading a book, or rub the back of her neck slowly, or stretch out her legs or the rest of the little things she did that drove him insane. There was the way she leaned against him slightly, looking over his shoulder, as he researched... the way he could smell the shampoo she used. V-05. Mixed in with the vanilla shower gel she used. The way he could feel her hair brushing against his skin, or how he could feel her breath on the side of his neck, as he flipped through a book.
His heart always skipped a beat, as cliche as that sounded, whenever she was around. Whenever she was around him, even in the same room as him, his throat seemed to get dry, and his palms sweat a bit. It seemed foolish, actually. He was a grown man acting like a fifteen year old with a secret crush, whenever she was around. He was too old to act the way he did, it wasn't like he stumbled over his words or laughed nervously when she was in the same room as him, but he was almost as bad. After everything he'd seen and been through, he still held the torch he had for her. He still grinned when she ramble on about random knowledge, or something she found in a book that she thought was interesting. He still yearned to touch her, even though he knew that she didn't understand some things about the world or what he was going through and went through. He still desired to kiss her again. To feel his lips against her own. To feel the warmth of her body against his; Her warmth mixing in with his, her petite body against his... his hand at the small of her back, drinking in all of her tastes.
She was like a sweet wine. You could have one small taste and be sastified, but you always yearned for more. You wanted to drink it slowly. Savor the taste of it. Lose yourself in the way it tasted, imagine how you could never taste anything more delicious. It was like candy. Melting on the tip of your tongue, like a sweet, rich chocolate.
She was his favorite mistake.
He could move on. He could stop obsessing over, he supposed. But it was like how an acoholic needed their alcohol, or how a junkie needed his supply of drugs. He couldn't get enough. His mind never got any rest, because he couldn't stop thinking about her. Through the darkness that had descended upon everyone in the hotel, he had seen her through it. Seen her as something he'd never get. Always that unattainable person. It was what made it worth it. The chase. The fight for her. She may never know it, but everything he did, he did it for her. He tried to be the champion, a hero, and for what? Was it what Angelus said? To impress her? To get her in the end.
He'd wait a little longer.
And if that didn't work, he'd take action.
Because with all addictions, waiting was only half the battle.
So to finish watching Steel Magnolias, and then I'm going to drag my lazy ass out of bed and get some water, and eat my huge bag of flaming hot cheetos and try to find some other movie to watch, until I pass out. Because I have no life, and it's a late Friday night and I've read all the fanfiction I can find in one night.
And I will continue my search in the morning.