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.x.stars are forever.x. (fallingstarr) wrote,
@ 2003-08-18 10:24:00
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    Current mood: depressed

    well my weekend has sucked. i was supposed to be off friday. i went to drop karen off and get my paycheck. while i was there this guy that works there came in and said he was quitting. so my boss asked me to work for a couple of hours. i had planned on going to see shane because i havent seen him since tuesday. but i couldnt tell him no. so i worked. after i got off, i went to jessicas to meet up with shane and them. we went to this party. it sucked for me. i didnt know anyone. i couldnt do anything because they all drank. and i guess assumed i would drive. so i did. when we left, i went to get my car, followed shane to his aunts to make sure he got there okay. when we got there, 4 cars were in the drive way. i knew one of them. it was a girl. and the other one was too because it had the beads hanging up. so i got pissed off. he was the only guy there. and the girls are his age. i dont trust him as it is. so i left and cried all the way home. i didnt hear from him that night. i talked to him finally at 3:00 the next day. i had to work that night. he went with my cousin and his girlfriend to a club. if my cousin and his girlfriend were dancing that means shane would probably find someone to dance with. he says he didnt dance. i dont believe him. you dont go to a club to stand there and look at people. so i went with jacqueline and her boyfriend to pick out a tattoo. i didnt hear from shane that night. he called me at about 10:30. i went to his house and we fussed. and fussed and fussed. im so sick of crying over him. i love him to death. but i cant take this. we have been together for 2 years and 2 months. i dont trust him. and the whole day today i didnt feel right around him. i couldnt be myself. i love him and want to be with him. but we need to work things out. i dont know what to do. i wish i trusted him. sometimes i wish i could break up with him. but i cant find it in my heart to do it. its so confusing. im going to bed. hopefully things will work out in the end. night



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