|Current mood:|| disappointed|
Reminiscing with razorblades
My Mother and I had a talk. It made me feel like shit because I am a horrible person, and it's true. I just take, take, and take and don't give anything back to people. After our talk I went to my room and punished myself with my good ole exacto-knife. I actually confessed to Dan before I actually saw him that I cut myself. Amazing... Well, with Rob I managed to smoke coke, meth, and weed all in the same fucking day. Wouldn't my mom be proud?
Oh well, at least I am losing my fat ass. I went from 212 to 203.5 in like 1 1/2 weeks, amazing. I am still eating, hmmpphh... *groan* but I am exercising my ass off. I burned 1,000 calories at the gym today. Boooya! Anyway, when I went to Riverside for my 18th b-day I ate a whole bunch of food and candy, but I purged of course. I wish I would just eat 800 calories a day but nooo..... I have been eating like 1,200 *gasp* I know it's horrific isn't it? Ana would be ashammed of me. I could always try and eat less than 1,000 tomarrow. =D Now I have made a new goal for myself. Happy happy joy joy....
I have an appointment with my Mom tomarrow with these people who give me money each month cuz I have issues. I have to "update" with them so I can still be recieving the money I have been getting since I was like 2. Since I am 18, that $270.00 each month is mine now. hooray! I'll probably spend it on drugs watch. I am so pathetic. Tomarrow 1,000 cals or less preferably, and another 1,000 cals burned off at the gym.