|Current mood:|| crappy|
i justr got back from byron going away party. omg my aunt judi was hysterical during the prayer. i found out that katie crow is kinda related to me in an odd strange way. shes nelsons godmothers daughter. so im sorta related to her. cool aint it?! anywho im was definately in tears during the "party" mostly during nelsons prayer. i really do hope god keeps byron safe. hes going to texas tomorrow for training. and then to iraq the first of the year. hes not gonna be doing much except driving but during war even that can be dangerous. im just gonna hope and pray that he comes back to us safely. he'll only be gone for a year to a year and a half, but who knows what can happen during that time. kevin just called. poor kid. i cant tell dezzy he called cuz shes outside fighting with adam, and my mom said that wont help matters. i miss kevin. i really hope hes doing okay. i really need to stop talking back to my parents. maybe if i had a little respect sometimes, things wouldnt be that bad. i never really thought of them as people untill lately. i never realized that things i said to them actually hurt them. i regret those things i said that did hurt them. sonny seems to think that the way i am, like certain fears and other stuff like the low self esteem etc., is thier fault when in reality i brought it upon myslef by being a royal pain in the ass. i wish i could turn back time, and be a good kid. not like a prim perfect little snob, but at least a descent human being towards my immediate family. im always courteous towards my extended family, because they actually show me that they love me. i know my parents do, but they arent very good at showing it. im not either. i wish i were, but im not. dezzy just came in, and she sed its actually her fault this time. wow. it usually is her fault one way or another, shes just to blind to realize it. he may be a little bt of a jealous person, but thats something we can all get over, and he makes a big deal outta dumb stuff, but my sister doesnt know when to shut her mouth, and she usually ends up pissing everyone off including adam. since theyve been together, shes letting everything slip, and shes never home. like during the play, she would leave like an hour before the play was over just to be with him. and shes never home because shes with him all the time. like at the "party" today, she left like an hour before anyone else did, because adam wanted to watch football. which brings up another thing, she can be with him whenever she wants, and my parents ca have no idea where the hell she even is, but they dont seem to care. i mean, she could say they went to the mall but they could really be at his house doing god only knows what. i know it isnt really my place to be saying things about other peoples personal buisiness, btu everyone is entitled ot thier own point of view. throughout this journal im sure you have noticed my many personalitlies. i have my quirky odd dumass personality, my serious talkative self, and my copmplete wierdo, no grip on reality personality. the one i usually tend to be is the second one, but thats the times when it seems like i dont know how to have fun. i wish i could just be one way and stick to it, but that not exactly how the screwed up mind of becky works. grrr i have never been able to really say i hate someone, and mean it with my entire being, but i really do hate talia. shes gonna play one of her dirty tricks and try to break up amanda and sonny. shes seriously trying to screw up his life and she thinks no one is gonna stand in her way, but what she doesnt know is that we ahve an entire friggin army. we got all her ex-friends who now hate her on our side. i know its not exaclty the mature way to handle things, but enough is enough. ok i g2g im talking to katie crow.