|Current mood:|| pessimistic|
|Current music:||take it off --> the donnas|
i think that i want you on the floor
Anyone else come to the realization that life literally sucks the big one? *smirks* I mean, there are those who are scattered about who insist that the world is one big fucked-up fairytale. That may be true for some people, that life's just a dream, but that's a minimal percentage at best. So many people die young, especially those who everyone thinks could and will have it-- my aunt, Ingrid, for one. Cancer. Kurt Cobain. Took his own life. Brandon Lee. Horrible accident during filming of, "The Crow". Just stop to think at how many people these days get divorced. How many of us will become a part of that statistic? No one falls in love anymore. It's just lust. Maybe that's why I've never had a relationship that lasted more than a month. I've always been the one to pull away, running scared.
It's not something I'm proud of. I wish I could be one of those forever optimistic people who know that they're going to live until a nice ripe old age with the one that they're meant to find. Hell, I used to be one of them. Then I switched schools and my life went all to hell. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those whiners who hates every aspect of their life. I wish for the best every day... I'm just quick to understand and accept that it'll probably never become a reality. I have my feet grounded.
Would it really kill me to be able to fly one of these days? I want to stop holding back. I want to fall head over heels for someone. I want a relationship to last longer than a month. There are so many things I want in life... but I'm afraid that once I start living, will it all be over before it's really begun?
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