|Current mood:||mad infatuated|
|Current music:||"Fight Song" by Marilyn Manson|
Jesus fucking christ, I'm so high on myself right now that no drug can ever compare.
I wrote early this morning that things seemed better with James, and this has elevated in the hours since my last entry.
I dropped Blake off at the babysitter's this morning and was driving to work when my cell rings. I glance at the caller ID, thinking it's Janet with one of her crisises, but it's not, it's James. I'm thinking, why is he calling me at 10:45 in the morning?
Here's the conversation:
James: Hey, sexy.
Me: (laughing) Hey.
James: You on your way to work?
Me: Yeah, I just dropped Blake off.
James: Well, I just wanted to tell you that you're sexy, and make you feel all good before you have to go work all day with Kathy.
Me: Awwww, thank you. (At a true loss for words.)
Then some other assorted bullshit then we said goodbye, I told him I'd see him when he came in at three.
So when he comes in, we have to act all professional because Kathy the Wrinkled Gargoyle was lurking about all goddamned day, but we'd pass each other and make little sexual jokes or smile.
Then we get off work and I'm driving him home, and we start talking about how we're staying out all night together tomorrow. Then he says, "Girl, you just fascinate me, I just wanna know everything about you, I don't know what it is about you" and some other things of that nature.
So I'm feeling pretty fucking warm and fuzzy to begin with. We pull up in front of his apartment and he says, "Well, I guess I'll call you tomorrow."
I'm thinking....come on...you know you want to....
And then he says, "Can I give you a kiss?"
I couldn't go all romance-movie style and be suave, I couldn't hide my sense of triumph so my answer was "Hell, yeah!" Talk about dumb-assed statements at inappropriate moments.
So he kisses me and oh my FUCKING GOD, was it wonderful. I've never felt a kiss like that. Okay, have you ever had a kiss where you feel almost like you're getting shocked because every nerve in your body is firing off at the same time? It was one of those.
Then he sits back a minute and says, "Damn" then kisses me again. By this time I'm starting to think bad thoughts and I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual.
Then finally he says, "Well, I'm gonna go take a shower, then I'll give you a call" and gets out of the car.
Then opens the car door back up and kisses me AGAIN.
FUCKING HELL YES, OH MY GOD I AM BASKING IN THIS!
So I'm still on my way home when he calls my cell, so I drive around back roads aimlessly and talk to him for an hour. We've realized that we're compatible as all hell, well beyond just a sexual level, and it's looking like it might turn into something more serious than a sexual fasicnation. I will spare details of our conversation, some things you keep to yourself, but it was so nice to be talked to like that.
So we're spending the night together tomorrow, and I can't fucking wait. I feel so good right now. I haven't felt like this about anyone in a long, long time.
Funny thing is, James and I have worked together two years, and this just now comes out? What the fuck?
I don't care anyway, it's happening now, that's all that matters.
(Remember KFC employees...James and I are keeping this on the DL, please respect the fact that I'm confiding in all of you and don't talk about this shit.)
Well, I'm gonna take my warm fuzzy ass to bed now, I will elaborate more later.
THEY HELD EACH OTHER, AND KISSED
THEY FED EACH OTHERS' DARKNESS
THEY BELIEVED IN EACH OTHERS' DREAMS...
-Hubert Selby, Jr. "Requiem For A Dream" (novel, not the movie)