|Current mood:|| thoughtful|
|Current music:||The Velvet Underground|
Sometimes it's hard to be a person of hope, no matter how hard you try. I've been dealing with some sickness, and I spent all of today looking for the source, but I haven't quite gotten a handle on what it is yet. I knew something was changing, I got deja vu so much more than usual the whole time I was sick.....I'm sad now that I know what it was. I guess things will be weird without him, but if he needs to be away from me, I have to give him that at least. He's given me so much time already. I just couldn't decide which was more important: losing somthing important to me, or the chance that he wouldn't be happy with me. He had me convinced that there was a chance. I know if I had wanted to do anything about it I should have a long time ago. I did once, and I've been using that like a shield ever since. Even I'm sick of hearing about it. Or maybe just sick, I'll have to discuss that one with my stomach. Ha ha ha. Lame attempt at some humor. I guess we'll end it on that (high?) note. Until some other time....