One More Thought
I haven't done same day posts in a while. But I kept thinking and crying and praying about it. And I also realized that people keep helping me. Or atleast trying to. Do you know how much I hate that? I mean I like it because it lets me know that they atleast care for me a little, but what I wish... if I could wish one thing... I used to think It'd be for true love or a loyal friend I could be with till the end... and I do wish for those things very much infact, but if I had one wish I would wish to be able to help people spirtually and emotionally or to do something so great that it changes the world, our views and etc in a good way!
For now I'm just a soon to be high school IB drop out. Where do I go from here? Where does my future lie? I'm so indecisive, unhappy, uncertain and afraid. Oh I'm so afraid.
Ironically, I was thinking about my good health and I noticed a wound on my foot. 4 days ago, it was a little bump/scar. The next day there was an indention in it's middle. NExt day the scar around it got bigger. Today almost the whole scab is indented. When I was younger, there was a poster in my mom's office about a wound where there would be raised skin, then a hole will develop and get bigger and bigger. Stupid me i didn't think the name was important. "Aww. Oh well. That probably only happens to old people."
I'm not going on the NewYork trip anymore. I forgot to tell Mr. B to get my refund and now my mom forgot about alll the good things I've done this week and rambled about what a demon child I am and how she wishes I've never been born. I will admit, I'm stupid. But I think she is just a little over reactive. I hate perfectionist drama queens.
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