| Current mood: |  depressed |
dimming.. chou. chou
On Saturday, I went to visit my little cousins at their new place. My uncle recently bought a mobile home in the most lovliest mobile park I have ever seen. The mobile parked even had a swimming pool and beautiful picturresque landscapes; there were citrus trees all over the park. My uncle's mobile home is very nice and spacious, better than our townhouse. Aunt Dzung did a nice job of decorating and cozying up the place. They haven't got cabled install in their home so I mainly watched my little cousins play video games. I took Troy and Tony out for a walk and gave them each piggy back rides. I mostly spent time playing with baby Timothy.
On Sunday, I attended a distant cousin's baby baptism. I hope my mother doesn't surprise me by having a baby. I don't think I can handle having a baby sibling at 17. It's best that a life does not get born into my family, because each of us is slowly dying. Lately, we've been having silent dinners. Nobody really talks to anybody in the family. Everybody goes about the house doing their own business, doing the basics to get through each day and then going to sleep. Sleep is good. Sometimes I want to sleep forever. Often after waking up from a two hour nap, I lay there shutting my eyes hoping I will enter another two hours of nap. I don't care for family bondings and moments anymore. I'll be content if everybody in the house just have respect for each other.
I feel like I am slowly wasting away. Everyday I wake up to a melancholy morning. Everyday I reluctantly put on my school clothes and walk off to school. Then, I come home, sleep and then wake up dreading homework and reality altogether. I feel very heavy with grief, sorrow and disappointment. It's getting very hard to go through each day, yet I am still thankful. I pray to Virgin Mary and God to help me get though each day's obstacles
In the end I know that things will be okay. But the light at the end of the tunnel seems so far and dim right now.
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