|Current mood:|| crazy|
Another crap day. I am having a real downer. Sometimes it is just to difficult to explain to loved ones exactly how exhausting depression can be. Not just physically exhausting - but mentally and spiritually. I am drained of all my reserves, and am thrashing around for answers. I have been diagnosed as suffering from depression since I was 16. 11 long years of recurring situations, paranoias and self-hatred. I really want it all to end. If only it were as easy as switching on or off a light bulb..
The situation is Iraq is worsening. Tony Blair has deployed more troops and there are rumours that George Bush intends to hunt down and kill Saddam Hussein. Finding the empty nuclear warhead was the last straw. Yet Bill Clinton attempted the very same thing and failed. Unfortunately it would seem that Saddam is more wily than we all wish he was. I hope we don't have another war. It always seems so futile. How much is this weapons inspection about power and control of oil than any humanitarian reason that may be muted.
Helen wants to take me to the coast for a day away. Time for us both to recharge and lift our spirits. I am so lucky to have so many caring people around me. Denise understands everything I tell her about my depression, whilst Dranda gives practical and emotional support. Work friends are so important as you spend so much time with them. I am lucky to have them.