| Current mood: |  thoughtful |
| Current music: | Kenna- "Freetime"; Rockell -"In a Dream" |
.... don't know what to tittle this....
My parents got in Sunday night. They are going to be here for a week. I've never been so happy to see them in my life. My mother and I got into an argument last night but it ended pretty quickly. She understands that I am growing up now and she is trying to accept it as best as she can. I used to say that I hated my mother, but I guess that is what every teenager goes through at least once and has to get over-hating their parents. She has done so much for me how could I have been so blind? I should apologize for everything I've put her through b/c I sure put her through a lot. I appreciate everything she has done for me but I don't think she really knows that. I dont' think I have ever told her how much I appreciate her, not even once. We aren't very affectionate toward one another. I honestly think I have only told her I loved her less than a hand full of times in the past 3 years. That is so sad, now that i really think about it I feel so bad. No wonder she thinks I hate her - which isn't the case at all. I wish I could tell her how much I appreciate and love her everyday but it just feels weird after not doing it for so long. My parents are going to move again in August and that is when I am planning on going back. I don't think I can stay here longer than that w/o seeing my friends and my little niece. She is so big now, says so many things. She never stops talking, it's so cute. I haven't seen my friends baby in a while either and she turned one a few months ago. I didn't even get to go to her b-day party. I need to go visit her when I get back b/c I already missed enough. The only reason I want to stay here in NY is b/c my sister is having a baby--she is 2 1/2 months pregnant right now. I want to be there for her the way she's been there for me especially these past few years. I want to be here to decorate the baby's room, I want to help organize the baby shower, and I want to be in the delivery room if it's possible. I want to be there when the baby is growing up, to watch her first steps and hear her first words. I don't want to miss any of that but I'm afraid I might have to.
When I find out exactly when I'm leaving I'll let you guys know-not that you care lol but still. Take care.
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