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Moises (epit0me) wrote,
@ 2004-12-03 22:54:00
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    I'm frightened. I taught myself, after falling hard to the ground and wiping the blood away, how to get by and control thoughts. To eliminate certain things from your life is not possible, especially since anything that you will ever be, as a whole, will be dwarfed by your mentality, in the presence of love. I find myself with one single piece of clarity and conviction... in that, I'm a million times glad that we speak. It is the greatest action I took in recent time, because every word, every smile I see (when I close my eyes), everything, even the silence... I just, I'm so incredibly happy that I'm not missing out on this. My heart glows...

    And then, there are moments when you inqure... and I know I can't utter a word of the things residing in my soul. I wrote my piece... you wrote yours. I honestly didn't expect a reply... and yet, there it was. Naturally, two seconds after reading it, I had already taken it apart and written an entire essay in my mind completely reacting to it... but it didn't need to be said. The point is, we both said what we did, and that's it. No need to take it another step further.

    It's 1, 2, sometimes 3 in the morning, and my phone rings. Sometimes I answer, sometimes I pick up too late, and just call back. And there I am, willing to endure fatigue at work for the sound of your voice, your breath. You have this advantage, this insight that you've been able to attain only through speaking to me at these times... where I'm barely conscious enough to hold up the barriers between you and my soul... the deepest part of it, and little by little... raw honesty leaks into the digital spectrums we each hold in our hands, and into your ears... down, i'm certain, to your heart and soul. You know now, how incredibly in love I am with you, and how while I tried to fight this, because I don't wish to sacrifice what we have worked so hard to nurture...

    I should definitely stop here... Hennessy does things to you... and this is one topic I don't want to elaborate on in such mind state...


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