|Current mood:|| depressed|
|Current music:||simpsons theme music|
dont you just hate that feeling when you feel like your entire world is crashing down on you? and that no matter what you cant change how you feel? if you answered YES to these question, then you might know how i feel...my day started really good...me and alex made up and we are fine and i didnt mean to call her a dirty lying slut i was just upset...and then the rest of the day, marc was being a complete asshole and i didnt know why because we hadnt talked in a while...here the reason why he was mad and didnt give me a ride home was because i forgot tos ay happy birthday...now dont i feel like the biggest shit head at the moment because i even started making him a card too in B period but just kinda stopped because that bitch teacher yelled at me for "not being present" at the fire drill...anyways, she made me feel like crap........and then at eop jon gets mad at me because im rude for thinking outloud about why i think that shawn rosenblatt should die in a really really big fire!!!!!! and he gets all mad and gives me like the worst attitude ever and theres nothing in this world that makes me feel just so fucking stellar then when jons mad at me.....YAY! for cady for having a stellar day NOT!..........so the rest of my day was horrible because jon constantly ( well not really ) seemed like he hated me along with the worldand i dont know how to change his mood and it brings me down too... then i come home to marc driving up and yelling at me for being a bad friend...so now who wants to hang themselves???? I DO I DO! well then i call jon because he always makes me feel better and he always question why im friends with him because he treats me badly and all...and ive even told jon that i dont really want anything to do with him and guess what.....cady actually got the nerve to tell him that today...but then marc calls my bluff and says that if im serious then he will leave for good and to expect him to never be there for me again...i couldnt do it....deep down inside he means a lot to me...he was my first love...i couldnt let him go that easily, it was too hard believe it or not despite the way he can be the biggest asshole sometimes....but i love him like anyone else of my friends..... and now jon is gonna like hate me because i wont give up on my friendship with marc and sometimes i wish i could because im sick of thinking what if and i know that i shouldnt because me and jon are so happy and i dont wanna ever lose that.....and marc tries to put these ideas in my head all the time about how much of a pussy that jon is supposedly ...i block all of that out now! but i hate the fact that marc believes that me and jon are fake because-----purplehazed73: i tihnk you and jon are fake Bifteck74: whys that purplehazed73: because i never see you talk...in the year ive seen you two together ive never see youre eyes look like you truly love each other but when people are around you guys are all over each other purplehazed73: i think that and i will always think that----- sooo now i feel like shit now because people are like TRYING to point out flaws with me and jon but you know what i dont see any at all........i love him soooo freaking much that sometimes it hurts and its a shame too........maybe marcs jealous that me and him never had what me and jon have now.............i love jonathan david niles for always and forever!!!!!!!!