| Current mood: |  discontent |
| Current music: | APC |
relationships and me
to say that i suck at relationships would be a lie. im great at them, its just that no one give me a chance. those who see fit to always have serious mental damage of some kind. i hope to god that its not me, im told its not me by my freinds, and they shouldnt lie to me, theyd have no reason to. its not like id be hurt if they said im damaged good as it were, i already half suspect it anyway. out of the handfull of relationships ive had or could of had, ive seen over-controling pyschos, girls with major self esteam issues (those who need to be told that i do not hate them every five mins), compulsive manipulative liers, a bunch of just plain crazy girls and most recently a lesbian and a gay guy. oh yea and someone who just got out of some weird cult-like thing.. fuckin shit. i seem to be doomed to be alone, if not forever then for a really long time. the only girl i realy like is off limits for the most part, but that extreamly debatable. but it doesnt matter cause i dont even think she friggin likes me. dont get me wrong, i liked and even loved every one of my girlfreinds at least at the time. i never thought i was settling or just trying to get some, i dont even like sex, it doesnt interest me. all i want is someone to chill with, who i know like being around me, who will listen to me bitch, who willjust sit and listen to music with me and lean on my shoulder. i need to find someone i dont feel like i have to keep interested in me, somone who is content just being with me. i hate drama, but if somone can put up with my shit, i can put up with theirs, to a point. the most important thing with me is the chill aspect, no fucking arguments every five mins. the last girl i went out with was great, we sat around and watched tv, then we talked about music, and went out to dinner and just sat at my house. there was no mistrust, no dishonesty, nothing to argue about at all, untill the immaturity stepped in , both hers and mine, and i threw it away. and ive been kicking myself for two years about it
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