| Current mood: | i can't even describe |
| Current music: | Jeff's light breathing |
Where do you even start?
Warning: I'm being COMPLETELY and DISGUSTINGLY sappy.
You know, for being a songwriter, I'm not very eloquent when it comes to love. Then again, maybe that's because I've never experienced anything like this before. Anyone like Jeff.
We had a second Valentine's day tonight. It was my turn to give him his gifts. I decided I needed to be naughty and got him some...fun. When I told him I had more, he tried to tell me everything was too much. But I couldn't just let this go by. I've never really had love on this day, and for the first time, I do. And I want any excuse to spoil him. The glow in his eyes, the smile, the excitement. I love seeing that. They say the day is commercialized, you don't need a specific day to be romantic. And I used to believe that too. But I have a reason now, and it's worth it.
But his real gifts came after that. I wrote him a song. A song that only he'll hear, a song that only he'll know. I've ever written a real love song, and I'm sure my first attempt was a pretty shitty one. How do you take something that we share and put it into a song that doesn't border on four hours? So I tried. I tried to take everything, the way I feel, the way he feels, the way I lose myself in him and the way he completely consumes me, the days we spend laughing and the nights we spend in each other's arms and the nights we spend in each other, wrapped so deeply in love that I don't know where one ends and the other begins. I tried to to take in the smile in his eyes, the love, the depth, the way I can look into them and see only me. I tried to take in the future we're creating and the family we're building, I tried to take in every part of him that's now become a part of me.
I know I couldn't take it all, I know there were so many things I couldn't even think of to put in. There's so much between us that it's unimaginable.
I strive every day, every hour, every minute, every second, to be a better person. To be better for him, to be deserving of his love in me. He pushes me on, with every kiss, with every touch, every smile, every glance. He is everything I ever dreamed of and so much more. He's the man I was made for. He is my reason. Every part of my life that I've been through, everything I've suffered over, it was to lead me to him.
He is everything to me. If tomorrow I wasn't Dashboard Confessional anymore, I didn't have the money I don't need, and once again I was just a kid with a battered heart struggling to let it all out, I'd know I'd wake up beside him in the morning and I'd smile. Because he is my life. He is my heart. My soul.
He gives me everything. He gives me room to grow, both with him and apart. He gives me the chance to explore myself. He gives me his complete trust when there's something new. He gives me time when I get so caught up to find myself again. He gives me his love fully and unconditionally. He gives me complete support, no matter what endeavor I'm undertaking. He gives me a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen. His arms always open and he's always ready to shoulder my burden with me or take it completely.
He brings me to tears while I'm laughing and makes the sunshine break through when I'm crumbling. He gives me hope; he is my strength.
He brought into my life something I never thought existed. I fall deeper every day and I never want to find the bottom.
I gave him his ring tonight. Just like he gave me mine. A ring. A ring that in the scheme of things could mean so little but is symbolic of everything. But no ring, no ceremony, nothing, could ever fully encompass everything that we are, have become, and will be. But it's a nice start.
Jeff...my beautiful baby. There are words, there never will be. You are my everything. We've only just begun.
For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through it all
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith because you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark
Shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
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