thanksgiving.....
(actual date and time: Nov. 28, 2003 12:30 p.m.)
Coming home, I realized that I was not in the usual pissed off demeanor I usually was when I would go
home. A huge sense of relief swept over me, which was surprising. It was the first time I had been home since the breakup with Erika, but that did not ruin my much-anticipated return home. In Berkeley I was desperate to finally see my family, I craved my mom’s homemade tortillas and listening to my parents argue and lecture me on everything they see fit. Which was good, in some strange masochistic way. Just spending time with my family made all the fighting and fussing worth it. Especially when I got to spend time with my niece, Angelique. (My previous blurty entry will begin permeating into this discussion. The discussion about the meaning of life.) She is the meaning of life. Not specifically her, but it is people and children, like her, that give meaning to my life. People that actually I value spending time with. People that I don’t mind talking on the phone to or instant messaging until four in the morning simply because their responses make you smile *ahem…Yulye…*ahem, people that sincerely appreciate my concerns/advice/time. These are the people that make me, me. The people I meet, my friends, and most importantly, my family all have influences over my goals, dreams, convictions, morals…. basically who I was, am, and will be. So driving into Coalinga I didn’t expect much because Coalinga is nothing but a little corner of the valley where nothing happens, but that didn’t matter….I was relieved. I was actually happy to be home, to be in a place where I no longer felt the despair of being alone, finally I felt safe. When I walked through the front door, a familiar warmth surrounded me. I hugged my mom but quickly walked to each room inspecting it, making sure it was the way I had last seen it. Everything was just fine.
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