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well i understand that i haven't been able to update my blurty and allow all of you to keep up with me and stuff. one thing is for certain, i am definitely a new person. i don't know what it is, but i feel new. in an attempt to be a more healthy human being, i have been "cutting the fat" and making my life more "lean" and a li'l more productive that usual. i think one thing i have come to realize is that there are tons of beautiful people in the world (and i don't mean physical beauty) that i have yet to meet, and i have experienced a sort of metamorphosis, due to those people. oh and i also realized that i have no "friends" here in berkeley, so a more healthy lifestyle is a mandatory pre-requisite to make lasting friendships, or just not having someone trying to control your life. so if you thought that my intro. line to this entry had any meaning behind it, well it did. being that i'm a new person and all, i noticed that i could no longer maintain my previous relationship. i guess it was the constant fighting, no trust, natural aging and changing, and trying to control each other's lives is what finally did it for me. after about a week of hanging out with friend teale, i noticed that i don't have any friends, i mean i know a bunch of people, but not people i'd consider friends. which is definitely a problem. i noticed that i don't put myself out there for people to try to be friendly with me. i realized that i'd like to be someone that could potentially have some sort of deep impact on people's lives, and i can't do that with with an overbearing burden upon my back. so after about a month of self-discovery, the trials and tribulations concluded with me realizing that i have grown up. i am a new person, i am more independent, but i hold the ties to family with a little more compassion; i am older, but still youthful and full of spirit; i have made dumb mistakes, but i have gained great wisdom from them. well i know that i've hurt people coming to this realization, but i this is something that i need to do, for a better me and so i could be happy. but i know that i've also made some new friends and become better acquainted with others. teale, thanks for all the chats and listening to my rants. i know they were probably annoying and pointless at times, but they really helped. spanx, our internet chats have become a lot better as of late, or at least i think so, tell heun to stop being a wuss. and yulye, you're awesome and you know it. despite the laziness, you're the coolest person i have met in a damn long time! oh ya and cats are gross, dogs are way cooler! (except for maybe your little kitty, from what you say, i guess he/she could be pretty damn charming) so i guess the "end" is the end of the old me, the person who was really clingy, jealous, and lacked patience. the "new" is me now. a li'l big more wise, definitely some new found patience, and the constant headache has subsided as of late...how weird??? oh ya and how could i forget, i went to the rock show last nite. it was great, eisley, hot rod circuit and brand new was there. hot rod circuit was good as always, and brand new really rocked the house. which i was glad because if you read some of my previous logs then you would have caught me being disappointed in brand new for their sub-par performance on the dashboard tour. it was great, i woke up with a sore neck and shoulders, proof that i had an awesome nite. thank you lisandra for letting me have your ticket, you're awesome for that. but you're still a "cabrona". music: frank sinatra - "it had to be you" ; brand new - "mix tape" ; dashboard confessional - "standard lines" Post a comment in response: |
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