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Jezzica (eliesness) wrote,
@ 2004-07-01 16:19:00
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    Current mood: drained
    Current music:jesus walks "kayne west"

    grrrrrr damn it to hell lol...
    welll umm...i think me and lyndsey are gona plan go makin a trip up to orlando some day lol we got our friends marshall and david up there...marshall invited me to stay the night there so maybe we will stay up there for the niht if we go who knows we havent talked about it much...anyway me and my x chris have been talking alot at first i thought well its better then him hating me which i thought he did but i dont know...i told him about my cutting and he said he was worried and wanted to help..i kinda think thats the only reason he is bein friends wit me is becuz of that..but when he said he was worried and everything i got my hopes up thinking he still cares me about even know deep down my heart knows he doesnt...and its hard being friends wit him becuz i still love him alot...and that love is geting in the way of alot and making things alot harder then normally..and im not sure if i should say something to him or not..i want him as a friend cuz he is a good trust worthy friend but i dont know if my heart could deal wit it..even know i have too..I mean if i get my act together and get over him i can have someone who is sweet kind caring and pretty much everything i want..and he is sexy too lol..speaking of i went to bed last night and he got on 20 minutes after i was in bed ..i was soo pissed cuz he was on cam and everything so i emailed him today..hopfully he gets on tonight...i pray he does..i wanna talk to him so abd he makes me happy..and right now i need to get happy before i start my shit again...i wish i could like disappear for like a week or weekend or something..but i got no where to go lol...well im out ill write later..if u got comments leave them..

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