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Elfy (elfyprincess) wrote,
@ 2004-12-13 15:46:00
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    My life so far
    My life sucks. I'm 22, a single mum and I'm never going to be loved again in my life. I wish those bullies could see what they've done to me, I hope they're sorry. They prolly dont even know how they're ruined my life.
    Everyone else has hudbands or bf's and heres me with nobody. And I never will get anyone cos why would they want me? I'm ugly fat and generally repulsive. Men want page 3 models they dont want me with my emotional issues and uglyness.
    I know I'll never get anyone so why I am still trying I dont know. Maybe I deserve to feel like this. Thats what it says in my head when I cut myself, that I deserve to feel the pain. The physical pain is a release but the emotional pain is getting too much to bear atm. I dont know what to do, theres no escape from it. Its all around me but worst of all its in my head, all the time. Wherever I go, whoever I see, its there, laughing at me. Mocking me. Sure I have close family and friends who love me, but its not filling that aching void inside me. Anway they all have husbands or bf's and dont realise how much this hurts me. Its killing me. They're all like, oh you'll find someone, but how can I believe them? They're just trying to shut me up complaining.
    Why the fuck is it so much to ask for something that so many people have and seem to take for granted? I dont want to be on my own for the rest of my life, but better start getting used to it cos its going to happen.


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