| watashi no kokoro ga morikoroshita; Eirhjien (eirhjien) wrote,|
@ 2002-11-13 01:50:00
I remember now why I avoid Illusionz
Fuck...I must have been insane to even think heading down there was smart. Of course, Ryan tried his hardest to be a prig. "Oh I think I'll make out with Becky whenever Jen happens to glance over...that'll make her hurt so much!!!" You didn't see me standing in front of him frenching Chris. Typical. What's his deal? I try to be considerate. I kindly avoided him as best I could..but he still had to make a scene. Even Chris commented on it. I calmed down considerably once he and his girlfriend left...I sat outside watching the storm alone...silent and lonely. But sometimes the loneliness is good. It makes me examine my own motives and feelings. And in the flash of the lightning, I was able to understand why the evening hurt me so. No matter how much time passes, seeing someone you once loved making out with someone else is painful. Period. I don't care how much he acts like he doesn't care, Ryan would not like to see me kissing Foy passionately in front of him. So I didn't. He likes to pretend he's so mature, but he can act so childish sometimes. I wonder if he finds being rude to me fulfilling. He must, or he wouldn't be cold hearted. I guess I'll have to smoulder in silence. He probably won't speak to me again...maybe its for the best.